[[ LUKAS CADE ]]
January 25th, 2013
9:38pm
8lbs, 19 3/4"
I’m honestly not really sure when I should begin this birth
story. I began having labor-like symptoms around Christmas, when I was 37
weeks. Although I had some Braxtion Hicks contractions around this time with my
first pregnancy, these seemed to be the real deal… consistent, timable
contractions… but, they were extremely weak and were barely even uncomfortable.
But yet I thought for sure that labor couldn’t be far off, because it was so different
from my first pregnancy. I shake my head and laugh at that now! I certainly
wasn’t expecting to go ten days “late.”
As the weeks went on, the contractions went from being
consistent and weak to inconsistent and stronger. I was frustrated because I
wanted both: consistent and strong, obviously preferably at the same time! I had been
sick the entire pregnancy, losing weight, and also having major pelvis and hip pain. So although I
knew how blessed I was to be pregnant, I was struggling and not managing well. As my due date came and passed, I was discouraged and
getting very mentally and emotionally exhausted. I knew it was just fine for
baby to be “late” (I hate that term anyway since it's really just a "guess date"), and that it was very normal. If I
had been totally healthy and just simply waiting for baby, I would have been fine
going until my midwife allows for a home birth (42 weeks). But I was struggling very much,
physically and emotionally, getting to the point where I was very discouraged
to wake up in the mornings, pregnant another day, because it was so painful. I felt like I couldn't keep going. I prayed often for the grace to
make it through the day, or even through the next five minutes. God was very
gracious to me through my pain. It was bad, but God was there.
On Wednesday, January 23rd, we sat down to discuss
some options with my midwife, Jenny. She was fine with me having a homebirth up until 42 weeks, which was
that next Tuesday. She felt it was a good idea for me to have a
biophysical profile (BPP) done by that Friday so that we knew things were going well
in there. I was starting to lose more weight (at this point I was 4lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight), my fundal height wasn’t
changing, and I had a lot of ketones in my urine again as well… so she wanted to make sure
that the placenta and baby were both healthy. But both Jake and I felt like the BPP was maybe not exactly the most necessary and would rather have tried some
things to encourage my body to go into labor since baby was going to have to
come out anyway. After some discussion between Jake and I, we decided to go
ahead and do the BPP. We also decided that, if everything was fine with the
baby, to have our “labor party” (basically, try to get labor started naturally) with Jenny on Friday because of how I was
doing emotionally and physically. We made the decision that if nothing happened
with our encouragement for labor, then we would try again another day, but for my emotional and physical health, it would be a good idea to try to encourage baby out. That’s how
bad I was struggling. I needed to be done, if baby was willing to come. I’m
usually very “intervention free” and I kind of surprised even myself that I was
this ready. Jenny gave her thoughts and opinions and was on board with our
decisions, since things were favorable.
We left our house in the wee hours of the morning on Friday,
January 25th. I was 41 weeks and 3 days pregnant. The BPP went just fine and baby scored an
8 out of 8, the highest possible. I felt so relieved to know that things were
just fine in there and that nothing should hinder a home birth. We made a quick stop at Target on the way
home to pick up a few things, and arrived back home around 10:15am. I changed into some
comfortable clothes and picked up a few things around the house to keep myself busy. The student
midwife, Holly, and our midwife, Jenny, arrived around 10:30am. My mom (who was staying with Ryan during our ultrasound)
left.
Our labor party was (hopefully) about to begin!
We knew that I was already about 5cm dilated and about 60%
effaced from my previous prenatal appointment earlier that week, so things
were already starting off on a good note. It was very weird to think that I was
basically already "halfway done."
We had an acupuncturist come to our house, because I had a treatment done both on Wednesday and Thursday, and my body responded well to it.
The cool thing about acupuncture is that it won’t FORCE your body to go into
labor, but it will just hopefully encourage your body to take the opportunity
to go with it. The acupuncturist, Amy, was really great. I had never had
acupuncture done before that week but I was pretty much willing to try all
sorts of natural things to see what would happen. She was at our house for
about an half an hour, doing her treatment, and then she left. This time, it didn’t
seem to “do” much at the time. Jenny and Jake had just finished setting up the
birth pool as she was leaving.
Around 11:00am, Jenny started me on
some herbs. She also asked me to use my breast
pump for stimulation to see if we could get consistent contractions that way.
The plan was to pump for about an hour, doing 5 minutes on… one minute off… and
pausing during a contraction. Not long later she also started me on an herb called cottonroot.
Boy, that is some NASTY stuff. I had to hold it under my tongue for 5 seconds
before swallowing… it burned. Lucky me, I got to take a dropper full of that
goodness every 15 minutes! Thankfully I had some apple juice in the fridge to
use as a chaser because water was just not cutting it. About an hour later, Jenny
asked if I wanted to try some castor oil. This was the thing I was most fearful
of consuming… I’ve heard so many uncomfortable about it! But she said the
more things that we tried at once might be more beneficial than trying them one
by one. So I decided to give it a try. Jake went to the grocery store and got
some thick mango juice so Jenny could mix it up with some ice and the castor
oil to make me a smoothie. The taste of the smoothie itself actually wasn’t
that bad… but the smell, oh the smell! It was definitely oily. It took me 15
minutes to finish but I managed. I also picked up on using the breast pump
again since we were giving my body a break during the time I was drinking my fabulous oil smoothie. I definitely was having contractions from all this, but
they were far from anything intense and I was more than able to talk through
them and do normal things. It was like we were just hanging out all day.
Around 2pm, Jake
put Ryan down for his nap and we decided to have Jenny do a check. I was now about 7cm
dilated, and she did a sweep with evening primrose oil and clary sage to
help soften the cervix even more. She said my bag of waters was bulging and
that baby was active (but that part I knew, ha!). Baby was -1 station and then
after two contractions (which were 5 minutes apart), baby was at a 0 station.
Holly and Jenny
decided to go get some lunch around 2:30pm,
and told us to take a rest but to call us if we needed anything… even if we
just simply wanted them to come back here. Jake and I picked up the house a little bit
(the chaos was driving me insane!), and then I snuggled on the couch with Ryan
while we snacked on a few things. I couldn’t believe that his little sibling
could possibly be here within a few hours. FINALLY. I had been saying “it’s so
soon!” for so long… but now it really WAS soon, whether it was today or a few
days later… it was definitely going to be soon. I also spent much of this time
in the bathroom, because the castor oil was having its effects on my system. I
didn’t think there could possibly be anything else inside!
Jenny and Holly arrived back around 4pm. We had all decided together
earlier in the day that if nothing consistent was happening by 5pm, we’d call
it a day and try again another time. When they got back, we discussed our
options. After my midwife consulted with two other midwives over the phone,
everyone came to the consensus that breaking my water (AROM) would be a legitimate decision, as
long as I was dilated to what Jenny and we were comfortable with. So our
options were... to stop trying to nudge him out and wait aper day... or continue.
Jake and I talked and prayed about what we should do. We
both felt that it would be much harder for me, emotionally and physically, to
stop everything and wait an entire day before trying again. My body had already
gone so far that day (though I hadn’t really felt like I had done anything) and
I really didn’t want to stop. We decided that we would do another check after a
little while, and if I was 8cm, we would break my water. If not, the midwives
would pack up and go home, to come back on Sunday and try again.
We all made some phone calls; my midwife to her assisting
midwife, to have her come join us (as she didn’t want to break my water without
the assisting midwife present, in case things went very quickly)… Jake called
my friend, Gina, who was coming with her 2 year old daughter to be with Ryan in
case we weren’t able to tend to him… and we called my sister, Erin, to come
take some pictures of the labor and of the baby afterward. We had planned on having
a professional photographer friend come, but she was only in town for a week after my
due date and had to return out of state to her home. I didn’t exactly plan on
baby coming ten days "late!"
I continued with the herbs and using the breast pump, and
ate a few bites of food. I started to feel a little stressed at the upcoming
potential decision to either stop or to break my water, and Ryan was also
starting to get quite antsy with all the commotion. The midwives were setting
up all of their equipment, and more people were coming, so things were a little
hectic for a short time. Gina, her daughter, and Vicky (the assisting midwife)
all arrived around 7:30pm. Ryan was
excited to see his little friend and the three of them went upstairs to play
with toys while we made our big decision. Vicky, Holly, Jenny, Jake and I went to our
room to do a check and talk some things through.
Jenny then did the check. I was 8cm dilated. After another
long discussion, discussing the pros and cons of AROM yet again, we decided to
go for it. I was at the pre-decided dilation point and I knew it would have
been harder for me to stop all that we had been doing all day when so much progress had been made. We prayed that
God would keep baby’s heart tones stable and that there would be no meconium in
my water, so that I could still give birth at home and not have to transfer. So
at 7:47pm, Jenny broke my water,
which (praise God) was clear. Immediately I went to 9cm. AROM felt so much
different than SROM (them breaking my water vs. it breaking on its own). With Ryan, my waters broke on their own and it felt like a
huge POP inside of me, followed by an immense amount of pressure and the need
to push. When Jenny broke my water, I felt nothing, except the warm liquid coming
out. I did feel baby move lower, but there was no urgency to push or really any
change in my contractions. They were still coming, strong but very tolerable,
every few minutes. After using the bathroom, I waddled out to the living room
where the pool was set up.
At 8:05pm, the
birth pool was at a good temperature. It took emptying out our water heater
three times in order to get it full. I got in… it felt really nice. I had wanted
to be in a tub big enough to submerge my whole body for some time (like 9
months!!)… so this was awesome! Our puny bath tub just doesn’t cut it. We had a
bunch of candles lit, and “The Piano Guys” station was playing on Pandora. The
room was dimly lit, and it was so peaceful. Just the kind of atmosphere we
wanted to bring our little person into.
I sat with my back against one of the sides of the pool. My
midwife wrote in her notes at 8:15pm:
“Still doesn’t look like she is working hard at all, but is doing some deeper
breathing with the contractions now.” Ryan, Gina and her daughter came down
from playing upstairs to get some snacks. The midwives were sitting on the couches across the
room, talking and laughing quietly. I liked listening to their chatter in
between contractions. It was nice to have my space, but I appreciated knowing
that they were right there if I needed them. I overheard them making jokes
about whether or not I was going to tell them when the baby was coming out.
At 8:28pm,
leaning forward over the edge of the tub is what started to feel the best. I
was on my knees, laying my head on my arms. My midwife brought me a popsicle
and I shared it with Ryan… but he stole a few bites from me while I had my eyes
closed, focusing on a contraction. Little stinker!
Around 9:00pm, I
thought Jake should probably try putting Ryan down for bed, because Ryan was
getting very tired. I normally put him to bed, so between all of the
abnormalities in the house and having daddy put him down instead of me, Ryan wasn’t really
having it. After Jake tried for a while, I wanted so much to tell them to get
Jake for me, that Ryan could stay up. I felt like I needed Jake there but I
couldn’t vocalize it. At 9:12pm,
Jenny asked me to see if I could feel how low the baby was. I reached inside
and felt baby’s head about two knuckles in. Things were finally to the
“intense” point. The point where I thought to myself in my head, “You know… I
don’t really feel like doing this anymore! Can I be done now??” Jenny mentioned
that since my labor was so different, I might never get the urge to push. She
said that if it felt okay, I could try bearing down with the contractions.
Jenny also asked Gina to go get Jake, for which I was thankful. Jake appeared
by my side. He grabbed my “birthing affirmations” booklet that I made, filled
with encouraging scripture and quotes, and started to read one… but I held up
my finger to ask him to stop. I needed to focus. His strong presence, his hand
rubbing my arm like he was doing, was what I needed in that moment, not something else to think
about.
I started lightly bearing down around 9:15pm. With the first gentle push, there was a release of more
amniotic fluid and a small amount of… well, the effects from the castor oil. I
felt Jenny scoop it out with her little net, and I said to her with a chuckle (while I still had my head laying on my arm and eyes closed), “THAT’S what you get for giving me CASTOR
OIL!” Everyone laughed quietly, and Jenny later told me that she knew things
were close at that point because of my snarkiness ;]
There was one contraction that I’ll especially remember… I
started to raise my body out of the tub, as if trying to get away from it instead
of trying to work with it. Jenny gently reminded me to not try and run away from the
pain but to use it and to gently bear down with it. Even though it was starting
to hurt, I felt so… calm, and in control. With Ryan’s birth, I had no say over
my body and felt like I was spiraling out of control. It was a great birth, but
I’ll never forget feeling like things were moving on without me, whether I was
ready or not. I remember feeling slightly afraid, thinking I wouldn’t be able
to catch up. This time, I felt on top of everything, and there was no fear. I
felt pretty comfortable with what was happening.
With Jenny’s encouragement, I pushed gently with the next
contraction. I felt the baby’s head start to emerge, and I gently held it in my
hand while supporting myself. I was so focused, and “in the birthing zone,”
that I couldn’t tell who was around me or what was going on. All I could hear
was the music, playing in the background. It was still “The Piano Guys” station
on Pandora, and one of my favorite songs of theirs was playing: their rendition
of Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep” (I’ve never heard the original but I love
their version). Still bearing down, the head came out completely. “Oh, there’s
his head!” I said, not thinking about not using gender specific pronouns anymore.
Another slight push, “and his body too!” It was 9:38pm.
I pulled him up into my arms and sat back against the side
of the tub. Jenny came over and started to rub him with a towel. His cord was a
little short and he was obviously very slippery, so I felt like a newbie baby
holder as I tried to adjust him against my body. I couldn’t believe he was
finally here! After such a long, hard pregnancy, but fairly easy labor, he was
finally, finally, finally here. I kept talking to him, telling him he did such
a good job and I knew it was hard work but that he could rest now. And I
couldn’t stop kissing him or telling him how much I loved him and how happy I
was! Ryan came over from the other room to meet his new brother. He was a
little hesitant at first, but then got very excited! I was so glad that he was
so close by that he could meet his new little brother so soon after the birth. I think it made for an easier adjustment. It
was such a special experience for all of us. After a while, he was far more interested
in sticking his hands in the water and splashing around.
I held our new son while he was being checked out, and then
he and I just sat in the tub and relaxed together for a while. He was able to
nurse for a short time but it wasn’t really comfortable for me in the tub with such a
slipper little person. Erin was busy snapping pictures, and everyone else just
seemed to soak in the moment of a new baby being born. There was no rush at
all, it was just peaceful and relaxed. I started to feel a little cold, so I
wanted to get out of the tub. It was 28 minutes after delivery that my midwife
clamped the cord and Jake cut it. With another kiss, I handed our boy off to
his papa and slowly stood up to deliver the placenta. Just like I remembered,
it was like giving birth to a boneless mass… extremely weird but satisfying, in
a way.
With some help, I made my way to our room and laid down in
bed. I nursed him again for a short time and then it was time to check both
of us out more thoroughly. I faired well and only had a couple very
small, minor “splits” in the skin that did not need much attention. Jenny
thought it would be best to use some soaked seaweed placed inside just to help
things heal well, so that’s what we did. I hardly bled during the birth and
wasn’t having much now either. Not long later, Jenny had to leave because of an
emergency with another client, but we were in good hands with Vicky and Holly
there.
Then it was our little guy’s turn to get checked out. We
were all surprised when he was weighed… everyone thought he looked so little
(although he definitely had some rolls!), but he was 8lbs on the nose. He was
19 ¾” long, which also surprised me because that was almost 2” shorter than
what Ryan was. He was perfect, though! Everything checked out just fine.
Gina and her daughter left not much after that… and then the midwives gave us
our post-partum instructions. It was probably about
1:30am before they left. Ryan had just fallen asleep on our bed,
completely exhausted from the day’s events and a extremely late bedtime. Jake
scooped him up and brought him into his room to lay him in his bed.
Then… just like that... it just felt so surreal. I had just given
birth a few hours ago, and here we were… at our quiet home, in our own bed,
with now TWO SONS… it was so exciting and weird all at the same time. But we
are so blessed and so thankful! Our home birth was such a fantastic and special
event in our lives and we are so thankful for a healthy baby boy!!
